Have you ever taken the quiz about your love languages? There are five as Gary Chapman describes in his book “The Five Love Languages”. Each of these is a way we, as humans, tend to give and receive love. Most will have a predominant love language they typically feel most loved by and will tend to pour out their love in the same way.

Acts of Service – Doing things for others & others doing things for you
Gifts – Receiving gifts and giving gifts
Words of Affirmation – Hearing thing like good job and giving out compliments
Physical Touch – Hugs, Snuggles, Kisses
Quality Time – Spending intentional time with one another

As I was praying on what to write and talk about on the podcast this week, a conversation came up about the five love languages. I think it goes hand in hand with what God has been revealing to me throughout my days lately.

You see, we tend to get caught up in everyday life pretty easily. I tend to be intentional with my time with the kids however its usually focused on completing an assignment or attending a practice. With my husband, we spend time at the gym together or in church service. With even my friends, we are typically doing something like a Bible Study, taking photos, or working on our non-profit work. This past week however I have had to slow down, take some deep breaths, and spend real one on one time with many for various reasons. This got me to think about quality time and what does quality time truly mean. I preface this with my love language is acts of service so it is no surprise that I tend to be doing things for others or spend time with them while they do things to help me.

Going back to the Bible, we see the story of when Jesus comes to visit Mary and Martha at their home in Luke 10:38-42. Martha is busy preparing the food and household for Jesus. Mary however, in awe of Jesus, sits at his feet and hears his words. Martha, disgruntled by not being helped, asks Jesus if he cares that she has been left to serve alone. Jesus responds to Martha by saying “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But on thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus desired quality time with Martha & Mary and he desires the same with us. If we are to live as Jesus lived, should this not be an example for us of how we should not only pause to spend time with Jesus, but with others too? Quality time is love.

Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep”

Quality Time does not have to look like serving others, it can simply be to be in the presence of another and doing whatever is needed at that time. Let this serve as a reminder for those of us busying ourselves thinking we must do more in order to show our love. I think when we hear the story of Martha & Mary so many times, Martha is chastised for continuing to performs acts of service but that is not what Jesus did. He didn’t rebuke her in a way to say what she was doing was unworthy of him or wrong, he simply stated spending time with him was not something that someone else could take a way and that it was good. In many places of scripture we see verses pointing to loving one another as we love ourselves. So if acts of service is how you receive love, it makes sense that you would love on others in that manner and that Bible tells us to do just that.

So what does this have to do with parenting a child with an Intellectual or Developmental diagnosis? Well, I think sometimes, at least for me, I get caught up in the day to day caregiving. I am so wrapped up in making the appointments, in cleaning up the messes, in going over IEP goals, and performing all of the acts of service, I forget to slow down and spend quality time not only with my kiddo, but others too. Understanding not only our own love language, and God’s, but also our kids is important to how we show up for our kiddos and others in our lives.

That brings me to the next thing the Lord has been revealing to me. Worship is not just singing and throwing our hands up on a Sunday morning. The most common Greek word for “worship” in the New Testament is proskuneo which means to bow down, kiss or prostrate one’s self. These are all physical acts. In Hebrew, the word worship is translated from two words, Shachah, which also means to bow down or prostrate one’s self. Another Hebrew translation of worship is the word, Avad, which means to work or to serve which points back to Acts of Service. Then we see in the Old Testament the sacrifices required as a form of worship pointing us to gifts. We also see praise as form of worship throughout the scriptures as well. Isn’t it interesting that our love languages, are also the love languages of God?

Romans 12:1 says “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”

True worship is love. Loving one’s self as a creation of the Lord. Loving God for all that he was, is, and continues to be. Loving others in whatever way they receive love, which is also how God receives love. Love, the greatest commandment of all, and the one thing needed.

Podcast also available on Spotify

About Distant Light Ministry Blog

Whether you’re lacing up for the first time and just received a diagnosis or you’ve been pounding the pavement for miles, we’re so glad you’ve found your way here.

This blog is dedicated to the long-distance journey that begins with an autism diagnosis—a path that demands endurance, grit, and a deep well of heart. Like any marathon, it’s not about how fast you run, but how faithfully you keep moving forward. There are water stations of hope, hills of uncertainty, and cheering sections filled with love and support. Some days feel like mile 20—when your legs are heavy and your spirit is tested—but even then, the finish line is not the goal. The goal is showing up, mile after mile, with courage.

We’re here to run alongside you. To offer stories, resources, and reflections that help you pace yourself, find your stride, and embrace the race for what it is: a powerful, transformative experience. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, educator, or someone navigating autism firsthand, this space is your training ground and your celebration zone.

So take a deep breath, tighten your laces, and let’s hit the road together. The journey may be long, but you’re not running it alone.

Latest episodes